Tuesday, June 25, 2019

What do I do?

At least once a week I get an email, text or message asking me..."what do I do"...because they are now facing a life altering event. A loved one was just diagnosed with cancer...unexpected loss of wages...things are happening that they never expected to. And I get it! Just 21 months ago...we took what we thought was a simple trip to the ER...which in a span of a few hours turned our lives upside down. And it has been a roller coaster ride since then. I don't have super educated advice to give...but I can tell you how we are getting through things in hopes that it helps someone else along the way.

For us....it was cancer. That was the life altering event. We were not expecting that diagnosis NOT ONE bit. And we had no idea going into that ER that evening that he would not return to work again. I mean....both of our kids just got married....we were finally empty nesters and getting ready to enjoy a well deserved second half of our lives. BUT...the year prior I did make one step that I am glad I took. During our open enrollment I signed us up for the Colonial Cancer policy. I mean you never know right? Thankfully that one policy helped us tremendously because we were able to cash it in and help with some of the medical bills that we didn't expect to have. It's a one time deal though so I can never use that on Billy again. But do check into that policy and if you can afford it...look even deeper into the critical illness policy as well that has hospital coverage.

Start NOW! I can't say this enough. Start now putting back into an emergency fund. This is so, very important. We go through life thinking...that will never happen to us...until one day and you are living it. Anything you can put back is a blessing somewhere down the road. We went from a two income family to one. Thankfully he was able to receive some income from his job for a few months but once that ran out....it was gone. Social Security Disability takes 6 months from the date of diagnosis to your first pay out. Always keep that in mind as well. You need to have enough put back to get you through paying the house payment. And in our case his disability is only temporary. I just completed a 15 page re-application and we just hope they approve it for another year.

Research research research. Google is your friend. Start searching for foundations or funds that may be able to help. If you have been newly diagnosed with cancer...it is overwhelming....but there IS help out there. You just have to find it. For us....there is not a lot out there for Leukemia unfortunately. Our biggest source of help was LLS.org. They also have funds there for certain types of Blood Cancers but they are not always open. Keep checking back.
 - www.rarediseases.org
- www.tafcares.org
- www.cancer.org
- www.mygooddays.org
There are just a few places that I repeatedly would check to see if funding became available. If you are a Leukemia patient you will also want to stay in contact with Be The Match. They have a fund available for Allogeneic Transplant patients.
If you have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer there are TONS of sources out there for you. As well as other cancers....just keep looking. Need some help...reach out to me and I will help you search as well.

Sometimes these funds are not huge. Maybe $200 a month if you are currently undergoing chemo. But to put things into perspective - Billy was in the hospital, earlier this year, for 38 days. Our hospital charges for that 38 day stay was $800K. Yep you heard that right. And currently just a month going to the BMT clinic is $25K each month. In 21 months our claims have reached 3 million dollars. Now I don't know about you but I am incredibly thankful for our medical insurance. It hurts coming out of my paycheck but I will not complain one single bit. All we have to come up with is our deductible each year. Which is not chump change but compared to the other....I will take it. So don't stop looking for funds. There are stipulations so make sure to read into what they cover. For example...we received a $5000 fund last year. We can actually, crossing fingers, apply again this July if the fund is open and available but it only covers transfusions, chemo drugs and certain doctor visits.

If you are local to Marietta  - do check out  https://lovingarms.support/. This is an amazing group with a cancer survivor/caregiver support group that meets every Tuesday.

Find support groups. No matter what your situation...find people that are going through the same things you are. Our friends and family will always be there for us but there are just some things that they will not understand unless they have walked the same path. I was talking to a friend who is now a caregiver. She mentioned to me that she thought she was ready for something like this from reading my posts about our journey but she didn't realize all the "behind the scenes" emotions that went with it. And that is so true. I can my post sound like it's a cheery day....or smile when I am out and about....but there are a lot of things that I just don't post about....emotions I don't share. One evening on my way home from the hospital I called a long time friend of mine. I just let out all my feelings to her. And I knew she "got it". She had lost her husband years prior after several years of a terminal illness. Sometimes it just helps to talk...don't be afraid to reach out to someone and just be honest about how you are feeling....any struggles you may have.

No matter your situation...take time for you. Oh man....I need to listen to what I preach huh! LOL. That is the hardest part for me - I admit that honestly. But do try.

And remember....you are NOT alone. I promise you that.
Hang in there. We are given these mountains in life to climb but when we get to the top....how beautiful that view will be. How much we will have learned. How stronger we will be.





1 comment:

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