Today has been the day of all challenges. Physically...mentally...artistically (is that a word..lol).
Today I found out that my son was held down on the bus by two boys and hit in the stomach by another. Why...they were trying to teach this boy how to fight and my son was the punching bag! I am SICK...absolutely SICK of damn kids that don't want to do anything but hurt others. I want to scream at them...I want to scream at the parents and ask them what in the hell is the problem. I want to scream at the school system for letting this happen AGAIN! This isn't the first time and those that know me...know what we went thru 2 years ago. Bullies...I don't understand them. And why my son. Why? It upsets me...it angers me...it is just something I can't wrap my brain around. I have always been taught to be kind to others. To help others. To put others before yourself. I've tried to instill that into my children...I've tried to teach them how to have a good heart...and then THIS. I just don't understand. The school lets me down...the system lets me down....life in generally lets me down sometimes. this would be the main focus for my "Jesus take the wheel" layout above. I just have to let go. Let go of this anger...of this frustration...and give it him to take from me. To guide me the right way. To show me the good in such a bad situation. I just have to.
On another note...today was our 3rd challenge. It was very physically hard. It was hard in so many ways. We had to run up 13 flights of stairs and then run back down them. Easy enough right...not a chance. I get to the top and I can't breathe....I'm dizzy and my legs want work. I couldn't get back down. It took me a minute to get my legs to work. I was so afraid I was going to fall. But I got down...1 minute and 30 seconds I think it was. Thought we were done...NOPE. We then had to carry a backpack that had weights in it to match the amount of weight we had lost total. Since I had lost and gained...they just went by lost so I had lost 4 lbs and had to carry a 5 lb weight. Poor Mary who had not lost a thing had to carry 18 lbs! This time I could only walk up the stairs. I got to the top and just cried. I felt like I was letting my team down cause I couldn't do it. I couldn't get a good time. the other team was winning...I felt beat...I felt defeated. But I made my way back down. Only to find that the person (other team) that was racing against me had fell on the last step and hurt her knee. So I sat down beside her while they got her a wheelchair and just told her how proud I was of her for accomplishing what she did. I think Monday I am going to try and find out what her name was and send her a pick me up gift.
Anyway....I cried most of the way home. I hurt. I was sad. just so much went on today and this next week is going to be so slammed busy. So much is being asked of me to do. I have relay for life friday that I have not even done a single thing for. The whole team (Shawns boy scout troop) is counting on me to pull this off and what have I done...zilch. so much to do this week and just not enough time to do it all in. Is there ever really enough time?
okay...enough of my pitty party. I feel some better just typing it all out. If you have followed it this far...thank you for listening