When it rains it pours

well what a few days I tell ya.
Friday I went to my Gyn for my yearly check up. Told her of a few concerns I had and before you know I was having several test performed in office only to find out that I will need to have some minor surgery. It appears I have some polyps in my uterus. Surgery seems to be pretty simple and easy. Will be put to sleep and it consists of maybe 20 minutes if that she says. But it is the whole polyp thing that is scaring me. So why are they there? How long have they been there? the whole "sending off to have a biopsy" things scares the heck out of me. I am sure it will all be fine but my friend Leigh...well her cancer started off just with one polyp. She had cervical cancer though. And ya know last year I asked my dr about uterus cancer and she said they don't usually worry about that until your in your 50's. um okay....so I am just trying to tell myself it is no big deal. Or at least that is what I have told my family.

I had to start taking birth control. I haven't done that in 15 years! It is suppose to help with the surgery and make it go quicker. Not sure when it will be just yet. I'm hoping it will be after my vacation in July. But the second problem is coming up with the money. Our insurance has a $1500 deductible. And we were thinking of getting Kayla a car so I know we can't do both. And then money for vacation. Oh me....it's just not all sitting with me very well right now.

On the brighter side I am pleased to announce that I have a senior in the house :) She passed! woohooo! We started working on Shawn's math yesterday. Geesh. No wonder he failed it. They shouldn't be teaching this to 8th graders. This is way to hard of math.

It's time for the school vent

Well we have one more day of school left. I have never been so excited about the last day of school. I have HATED these 3 years of middle school. Every ounce of them. The stress right now is just overwhelming. Today I finally had the mental breakdown that has brewing up for a week.

We can't seem to win the battle on the CRCT Math scores that are just horrible. The State Superintendant just says that they were "expected". WHAT EVER! ya know her child passed the darn test so why would she be concerned. I know...I should be harsh but damn it. When are they going to wake up and admit they screwed up. stuff on the test not even taught??? How can they pass a test if it isn't taught. yes 60% roughly passed the test but that is all over the state. Just take our county for instance. Maybe Gwinnett County had a high pass rate. good. They they taught their students. And then you have our county who in just 4 schools 455 students failed. Do they not see something is wrong! And tell me something....what kinda of class...and especially a core class...does not give the students books to study from! Well our county just didn't think math books was important????? the kids had workbooks that were NOT allowed to come home. So how do we help teach them at home.

It's just upsetting. I have a son who last year scored very high on the CRCT to then turn around this year and fail it by 11 points. Which means he will have to retake it in June. And if he doesn't pass it then...then he is retained to the 8th grade. I think NOT. I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets to the 9th grade where he DESERVES to be. I am NOT going to let one silly stupid test decide his future when all that test is there for is to make the state look good. I'm sorry. but no...I do NOT agree with standarized testing nor will I ever vote for candidates in the BOE that supports it. there are just a few things that I am very passionate about and my children and their education is one of them. How dare they base our children on how smart they are by a test. A test that shouldn't have been given to them as it was written. A test that was not lined up with the curriculum that was taught.

And then to top things off his school mysteriously say that he never ordered a yearbook so he was not given one. ON NO I think NOT. I called right back up there and demanded he get a yearbook (yes pardon my launguage but I have been a really BIATCH this week). I have the cancelled check and I have the order form stating it was ordered and paid for.

This has just been a horrible few weeks. It's driving me nuts having to wait a few weeks just to know if Kayla has passed and will be going to the 12th grade. Her math teacher is not the friendlist person no matter how hard I have tried this year. She will not tell me how she did. It would be nice so that we could line up summer classes for her but noooooooo....let's not help at all and just make us wait. Over it. Did I mention I am just OVER it.

I want Kayla a senior...I want her graduated and into college. I want my son in high school. I want these crappy school years that have haunted us GONE and forever forgotten.

Okay....sorry for the vent but I forwarned you it was coming =)

CHECK this out

I did my health eval today for the final Biggest Loser program!!!
11 inches!!!!! 11 total inches
I dropped 4% body fat!
My bicep strength was out the roof!!!!!
I AM SO EXCITED.
11 flippin inches!

Biggest Loser Winner

I did it!!!!! I am a biggest loser winner. I completed 8 weeks of grueling workouts.....sweating like you wouldn't believe...muscle aches and pains (such as my shins right now)....bruises and bumps....good days and bad. I finished my last challenge today feeling better than ever. I finished my challenge jumping for joy because I DID IT! I accomplished something that I first waved off as stupid and not my cup of tea. I joined a group of 59 other people who didn't work out...who has tried and tried to lose weight....who needed that last shove to get us over the hill.
WE DID IT! all of us!
KUDOS to the Biggest Loser group.
We may not of ever won challenges...but today...we came in third and just the fact we did it all...is better than ever winning.

Now...my next goal is to keep this going. To keep working out and to keep getting even more fit than before. I can do this!

and on the school front...grrrr...that will be another post at another time

Not a good day

Well it started off good at least. We had our training session today. We gave our trainer the scrapbook page I made her. She LOVED it. I will miss her. She is so full of information and we haven't even gotten it all out of her yet.

I did great on my sprint times today. I was soooo proud. And I didn't crash while running...lol

then I came home to find out that Shawn failed the Math portion of his CRCT tests by 11 points. So he will have to retake it June 19th and MUST pass it or he will not go to the 9th grade. I was sooooo not happy. And as the night is going along I am finding many other parents in the same shoes we are in and extremely upset with the state, with the rules they have set, with these tests...with it all. there is no reason he should of failed that test. He is an ACE with math. It's crazy. So it has really screwed up the summer plans with Day Camp...Summer Camp...I don't know how we will get it all handled now but we will. We always do right. (Come on...here is where you agree and help me believe it will all be okay). I really want to have my Senior and Freshman next year. Not that I am pushing them to get out of school and all cause I really want them to stay young forever but I am OVER middle school. I want him out of there.

Well I have cried so much today my head and eyes hurt so I guess it is time to turn in.

We have one more training session Thursday and our last challenge is Friday. We have heard it is aquatic but I don't know that for sure. Kinda hard to do an aquatic challenge when I can't swim. We will see I guess.

Sorry...

sorry I haven't posted in a bit. It's been crazy here and something is wrong with our stupid phone lines and internet. I had to place a call into the service to come out and take a look. Everytime the wind blows it goes crazy and I can't log on. I MUST have my internet!!!! Please fix it...lol

We survived Relay for Life friday night and raised $600! I thought that was awesome. Then we turned around and had Kayla's 18th birthday party Saturday. Come sunday I was so exhausted. Still am actually.

Tomorrow and Thursday are our last Biggest Loser training sessions. I worked out today and hope it didn't mess with my back. I hurt it again Friday and have been nursing it some but have to make sure it is okay to work out tomorrow since it will be a tough day. I think I will kinda miss the Biggest Loser but in the same token...I want miss the intense workouts. They were getting to me a bit. I plan on to keep going to classes thru out the week.

Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. my hubby surprised me with an ipod Nano. I was surprised. He never does anything on Mother's Day except a card. And the kids....well...they didn't get me anything or do anything for me. Well lets see if I do anything for them on their birthday dagumit :)

Good news

finally in all this mess some good news



My heart is just fine! Still a hole there but it hasn't changed in size and the chambers are not enlarged! AWESOME news. And the dr talked to me today about surgery but said the risk of surgery out weighs living with the hole for now. But of course if it ever shows signs of changing then we will fix it but for now...just keep plugging along like I have been!



Now to battle this dizziness which i am hoping is just allergy related!

NSD events

I had a wonderful weekend. Minus the aches and pains in my legs from the challenge frinday night...it has been a nice weekend. I scrapped a bunch!! Here are just a few more pages that I was able to get done. And would of scrapped some more but I ran out of adhesive.

The boys will be back about lunch time today and Kayla is leaving to go with my mom and sister to the Renissance festival. I know they will have a great time. And I am excited to say that I got a call last night that Shawn was tapped out for the Order of the Arrow at the big fire last night during the Scout Camporee. I can't wait to hear how all that was last night.

It's been nice and quiet around here this weekend. Something I really needed. I will take a few hours to put together what I can for the Relay for Life event Friday night. And really....just check off my list what I can and do the best I can...that is all I can do.

Thank you to everyone for thier kind words of support. It means the world to me.

Today's Challenges

Today has been the day of all challenges. Physically...mentally...artistically (is that a word..lol).

Today I found out that my son was held down on the bus by two boys and hit in the stomach by another. Why...they were trying to teach this boy how to fight and my son was the punching bag! I am SICK...absolutely SICK of damn kids that don't want to do anything but hurt others. I want to scream at them...I want to scream at the parents and ask them what in the hell is the problem. I want to scream at the school system for letting this happen AGAIN! This isn't the first time and those that know me...know what we went thru 2 years ago. Bullies...I don't understand them. And why my son. Why? It upsets me...it angers me...it is just something I can't wrap my brain around. I have always been taught to be kind to others. To help others. To put others before yourself. I've tried to instill that into my children...I've tried to teach them how to have a good heart...and then THIS. I just don't understand. The school lets me down...the system lets me down....life in generally lets me down sometimes. this would be the main focus for my "Jesus take the wheel" layout above. I just have to let go. Let go of this anger...of this frustration...and give it him to take from me. To guide me the right way. To show me the good in such a bad situation. I just have to.

On another note...today was our 3rd challenge. It was very physically hard. It was hard in so many ways. We had to run up 13 flights of stairs and then run back down them. Easy enough right...not a chance. I get to the top and I can't breathe....I'm dizzy and my legs want work. I couldn't get back down. It took me a minute to get my legs to work. I was so afraid I was going to fall. But I got down...1 minute and 30 seconds I think it was. Thought we were done...NOPE. We then had to carry a backpack that had weights in it to match the amount of weight we had lost total. Since I had lost and gained...they just went by lost so I had lost 4 lbs and had to carry a 5 lb weight. Poor Mary who had not lost a thing had to carry 18 lbs! This time I could only walk up the stairs. I got to the top and just cried. I felt like I was letting my team down cause I couldn't do it. I couldn't get a good time. the other team was winning...I felt beat...I felt defeated. But I made my way back down. Only to find that the person (other team) that was racing against me had fell on the last step and hurt her knee. So I sat down beside her while they got her a wheelchair and just told her how proud I was of her for accomplishing what she did. I think Monday I am going to try and find out what her name was and send her a pick me up gift.

Anyway....I cried most of the way home. I hurt. I was sad. just so much went on today and this next week is going to be so slammed busy. So much is being asked of me to do. I have relay for life friday that I have not even done a single thing for. The whole team (Shawns boy scout troop) is counting on me to pull this off and what have I done...zilch. so much to do this week and just not enough time to do it all in. Is there ever really enough time?

okay...enough of my pitty party. I feel some better just typing it all out. If you have followed it this far...thank you for listening